Nerves of Steel: Keeping Balance of Mind

Jun 13, 2019

Manuals for achieving happiness, podcasts with meditations and psychologists’ profiles on Instagram are gaining more and more popularity every day. It would seem that the trend is quite positive, but the more we hear about how to find peace and enjoy life, the clearer the outlines of the problem appear. More and more people in everyday life experience stress.

“I am a leading engineer and always felt confident in my work. But everything has changed. Recently, the company fired two good competent employees and hired relatives of the boss in their place. It seems absurd, their qualifications are lower and the work has suffered Such decisions will certainly come to no good. There is a feeling now that anyone can lose their place just like this. And finding a new job now is not so simple…”

– Sergey, 39, engineer

According to the Levada Center, on the question “How often do you personally experience stress and tension at the end of the day?” 11% of respondents answered that they felt anxious very often, almost daily. 22% answered often, once or twice a week.
When they were asked what helps them cope with the feeling of anxiety, 17% admitted a tendency to resort to alcoholic beverages, and only 1% said that communication with a psychologist would help them. Of course, the last indicator does not speak about the effectiveness of working with a specialist, but merely about how small is the proportion of people who might seek psychological support. [1]

Continuous neglect of internal feelings and the reluctance to seek psychological help can be fraught with serious consequences. These may include the loss of job, a breakdown in relationships with a partner, tantrums, nervous breakdowns, clinical depression, heart attacks, and diseases of the central nervous system or internal organs.

How can you stop yourself from being trapped in daily anxieties? Let’s talk about this. 


  1. Balance of mind. How important is it?
  2. How to maintain composure and achieve balance of mind
  3. Reasons for loss of balance of mind
  4. How can you regain balance of mind and calmness?
  5. Balance attitudes: solving problems of self-control with the help of behavior modification technique

Balance of mind. How important is it?

Speaking about the importance of peace of mind, first we will give it a definition – it is a balanced, calm state with no worries and anxieties. A person, who is capable of the art of self-control, can maintain inner calm, without betraying his/her values in the most difficult emotional and critical situations. A lack of self-control compels a person to give in to difficulties and to succumb to momentary desires and manipulations from other people:

“In the past I used to do everything myself. Who is cooking dinner for friends? I am. Who orders train tickets for everyone? I do. Everyone told me: “Sveta, you do it better than all of us….” Of course, I liked being praised, but the organization of all these meetings, trips and parties have taken away my time and energy. I have begun to worry often, because I was very demanding upon myself.

Now I share responsibilities, my brother cooks and my daughter-in-law buys the train tickets. And I … I only control them in the end! And it makes me free from stress”.

– Svetlana, 29, photographer

Tightrope walker Philippe Petit became world famous in 1974 by walking along a stretched cable between the North and South Twin Towers of the World Trade Center in New York. His skill then was so great that he went not only several times from the beginning to the end of the rope and back, but even sat down and lay on the rope, before continuing on his way. Of course, he possessed his body very well, and for this he needed years of training. But would he have performed such an unprecedented trick if he had not perfectly mastered his spirit ? We think not.

Each person needs to find the right balance of mind in life, in order not to fall into the emotional abyss. Philippe needed this in order not to fall from a height of more than 400 meters. [2]

How to maintain composure and achieve balance of mind

“How do you stop yourself from losing your temper?” I have a rule: when I am in a strange situation, I count to ten and slowly exhale. And then I tell myself: a solution does exist, and you are kind of smart, and so you can do it!”

– Natalia, 30, freelancer

If you have the physical and psychological resources to adapt quickly in stressful situations, you will easily cope with them. Imagine that the boss or a relative was rude to you, and in response you just shrugged your shoulders and thought to yourself, maybe he/she woke up on the wrong side of the bed, well, it happens. This reaction occurs due to stable emotional intelligence. There was an awareness of the stress factor at the level of the central nervous system and this system produced the necessary reaction to neutralize this factor. [3]

Such a reaction is possible if the mind is in a stable resource state. Staying “in the resource” and maintaining balance is helped by daily physical activity, an adherence to sleep and wakefulness, an ability to relax during the day and opportunities to be quiet sometimes. This recipe can be supplemented with other items for an individual person.

Reasons for loss of balance of mind

Why doesn’t everyone manage to maintain self-control as easily as Natalia?

Unfortunately, there are many reasons for this, and some of them have influenced us from early childhood.

  1. Basic distrust of the world

This condition, inherent in children, is also called “basic anxiety” by psychoanalysts. A child instinctively reacts to the external environment, when it can pose a threat to survival. He/she feels a sense of helplessness in a potentially hostile world. Some adults also have this condition and it leads to increased anxiety.

  1. Anxious Mom

A Mother’s anxiety is caused by a natural instinct and is fully justified during pregnancy and in the first months of a baby’s life. Growing up, the baby becomes more independent. If a mother (or both parents, or grandparents) continues to transmit to him/her an alarming model of behavior and protect him/her from all dangers, this will accustom the child to a constant mode of anxiety.

  1. Authoritarian and hyper-caring parents

Such parents prefer to prohibit a child and limit his/her contact with the outside world, taking undue care or showing a dictatorial disposition.

The child gets used to thinking that the world around is dangerous. He/she is forced to evaluate each of his/her decisions in terms of possible disapproval. As a result of such education, when adulthood is reached, the person does not know how to adequately respond to stress or how to cope with anxiety.


  1. Continuous stress

Frequent irritation of the central nervous system by stress factors makes it vulnerable. The stress is likely to cause a reaction from the autonomic nervous system and the immune system.

  1. Chronic fatigue

When efforts spent on labor and domestic activities are not compensated by rest, fatigue accumulates and anxiety appears.

  1. Features of temperament

A tendency to anxiety can be explained by the characteristics of temperament. For example, choleric people are inherently active and for them anxiety often manifests itself in instability and restless behavior. Conversely melancholic people are fearful and sensitive to the mood of others, they can put off their desires for later and therefore suffer from increased anxiety.

  1. Diseases

In a state of sickness, a person becomes more susceptible to fears, despondency and irritability. Waiting for medical results, staying in bed, making unpleasant decisions – all these can affect one’s mental state.

  1. Psychological traumas

This is when one who has experienced life-threatening and tragic circumstances, which have not been fully processed, can continue to allow the trauma to live inside the mind, thus poisoning their existence.

Not always a person can independently understand the reasons of his/her fears and worries. If you feel that you need help, contact a psychologist.

A convenient option that does not require much time is to take a course of the 7Spsy behavior modification technique.

How can you regain balance of mind and calmness?

What do you do if your self-control fails daily? The answer may seem too general, but the only correct one is to work on yourself. This includes giving yourself permission to make mistakes sometimes and try not to torment yourself with guilt feelings about them.

“In the kitchen, if you do your job well, you will burn like a wick. You spend the whole day on your feet, constantly giving instructions and sometimes you crack down on people. It’s hard – mentally and physically. But by giving 100% of yourself it is possible to do something worthwhile. I had situations when I became desperate, stopped and asked myself: “How can I stop being nervous and become calm? Is it really valuable and necessary what I am doing? Maybe I’m just wasting my time?” I overestimated and changed a lot in my life but did not leave the profession. I still have no confidence that what I’m doing is good enough. But I try to give myself some kind of tolerance, I allow myself to be imperfect. I am in constant dialogue with myself”.

– Nikolay, 37, chef

Here are some tips for becoming calmer and more balanced:

  • Try to feel when you are about to get worried and keep cool. If you can, stop the action or conversation that makes you nervous.
  • Focus on breathing. Breathe deeply, feeling the diaphragm and exhaling through your nose. A few deep breaths will help you calm down almost immediately.
  • Practice progressive muscle relaxation: strain and then relax muscle groups from head to toes, sending a signal to the whole body to relax.
  • Participate in sports. It has been proven that running and other types of regular physical activity have a positive effect on the emotional state.
  • Avoid negative situations whenever possible. If the conversation with a person reaches a raised tone, say that you do not want to discuss the topic at the moment. Give each other time to recover.
  • Spend more time with your loved ones, be open to the world and make new friends. Communicating with loved ones helps keep balance. Close people can share experiences on how to become kinder and calmer.
  • Be kind to yourself. There will be no place for harmony and calm in your soul if you do not trust yourself and are constantly critical of yourself.

Balance attitudes: solving problems with self-control with the help of behavior modification technology

If you have not found the right means for yourself as to how to find peace of mind and to become a calm and balanced person, do not despair. The first step you have already taken is awareness of the problem. We recommend that you go further and take the second important step – contact qualified specialists.

The 7Spsy behavior modification technique is a patented method based on the theories of the founders and authorities in the field of behavioral psychology: the theory of conditioned reflexes by I.P. Pavlov, the theory of dominants by A.A. Ukhtomsky, the theory of hidden reinforcement by A. Banudra, the theory of attitudes by D.N. Uznadz, etc. It allows you to cope with difficulties, identify psychological attitudes which cause worry and anxiety and replace them with new positive attitudes aimed at finding peace and balance.

Classes on the 7Spsy behavior modification technique are held remotely. This format is convenient because you can make a class schedule at a time convenient for you, in a comfortable environment. The program is completely confidential if you choose not tell your family about your activities. The psychologist supports you during classes and answers your questions throughout the course via a convenient communication channel – in online chat, by phone or e-mail. The entire program lasts 2-6 weeks.

You can learn the art of self-control and learn to live in harmony with yourself and the world!

Learn the art of self-control

Information from this website cannot be used for self-therapy and self-diagnostics. 

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