Word spoken: getting rid of swearing and cursing
Problems caused by cursing
Apr 05, 2019
“A co-worker screwed up big time, and I swore at her, just a normal thing for me. Then my manager told me she heard everything. She said it was not the proper way to speak to a colleague. But that was not a big deal! Everyone curses. And yet she got angry with me. I didn’t get my bonus and got stuck with an old project. It’s like I’m not welcome anymore. Do I really have to apologize? I speak the way I speak.”
– Vladimir, 39
Russian cursing is extremely widespread and bears many different names: cussing, swearing, strong language, profanity, taboo words. To some extent, it is an essential part of Russian language and culture. It can be seen even on birchbark manuscripts dating back to the twelfth century. However, swearing is often inappropriate, it poisons speech and gives people a bad image. A person who curses regularly is unable to control themselves. They use strong language naturally, out of habit. And that is, indeed, a habit. People hear certain words, think with them, get used to them and start actively using such vocabulary. However, what happens when swearing becomes excessive?
Of course, that is no sin, and you will not burn in hell for it, so you don’t have to blame yourself day and night for an accidental slip up and erase all swear words from your memory. We suggest you have a reality check of the role of cursing in your speech. Is it always necessary and appropriate? Can you be more expressive without it? Let’s talk about the perils of swearing and ways to do without it.
Do you curse too much?
The knowledge of swear words itself will not damage you or your health, but it can cause problems if it plays a big part in your speaking. Read the following statements and answer “yes” or “no”.
- I felt ashamed for cursing in front of people.
- I got in trouble for swearing, for example, I had a fight because of it.
- People got offended by my bad language.
- I use swear words to connect my speech, it is hard for me to speak without them.
- I curse out of habit. Sometimes I notice it only afterwards.
- Sometimes I refrain from speaking, because I cannot express myself without swearing.
- I feel impeded by my own cursing, I’d like to swear less or stop doing it at all.
If you have answered “yes” to 2 or more statements, then swearing has likely become the cause for several problems in your life. Take a moment to think about cutting down the influence it has on your life.
Reasons for cursing Why do we even do this?
People, of course, curse for a reason. Everyone has issues and problems that can be seemingly solved only by using swear words. However, more often than not cursing creates only the illusion of answer, not a solution to a problem.
You can choose the reasons you agree with and see for yourself if swearing really helps you.
I curse because…
All adults curse, so when I do so, I behave like an adult
Cursing is not a sign of adulthood. Even three-year-old children can curse. Adulthood and maturity are defined by actions, not proficiency in swearing
My friends speak that way. They understand me better when I do so too
Friends can be accepting of your manner of speech, but not all social circles do so. If you are not willing to change your circle, you should at least learn to eliminate cursing from your speech and adapt to various situations
I express my emotions this way
You should learn to express your emotions by various means, so that such expressions do not inconvenience you or other people
It is a habit; I cannot control myself and my anger
We always respond to different situations out of habit. You can develop an ability to control your speech and stop using swear words even in emotional situations
Everyone in my family does that
You don’t have to follow your relatives’ example. Choose a behavior pattern you need instead
I use swear words to connect my speech, I cannot speak smoothly without using them; sometimes it is the best way to express something
It is simply a sign that your speech has become poor and expressionless.
Cursing relieves stress
This is indeed possible, but such a way to reduce stress is not always appropriate. For example, you would be better to refrain from using it when defending your thesis. You should learn several ways to reduce stress, not just cursing
Even Shakespeare cursed
Shakespeare (like other writers who used profanity) had a perfect grasp of the whole language, not just cursing. If you can easily live without swearing, it is wonderful. If not, you should better aim for Shakespeare’s level not only in terms of cursing.
Cursing makes speech richer and more expressive
If so, then you will have no trouble refraining from cursing when it is inappropriate. Unfortunately, cursing often makes the language poorer, replacing many words. For example, instead of saying “tired, exhausted, weary, on my last leg, dead on feet” and many other synonyms a person can use a single swear word.
All swearing is second language, we cannot do without it
No one tells you to forget this “second language”. It is relatively harmless, but can cause a lot of problems
Let’s not forget about situations where cursing is used to express aggression, to attack, humiliate and offend somebody. It doesn’t really matter what words a person uses to offend someone, swear words or not. In such cases we should pay attention to the reasons for aggression, rather than the use of cursing. We need to find out why a person decides to attack others, what are their goals in offending people around them etc.
Problems caused by cursing
- Poor vocabulary and struggles with expression
If a person curses often, swear words will eventually replace normal ones in their vocabulary. Using such succinct and expressive words will become much easier than thinking and coming up with new expressions. As a result, a person’s speech becomes an irregular and crumpled ranting full of cursing. A person struggles to express their thoughts and feelings, as they lack proper words.
- Problems in social life
Speech full of profanities can create a negative image. Even though a lot of people swear, most of them do this only occasionally. Basically, society thinks that only uneducated people on the fringes of life curse regularly.
- Work problems
Inappropriate use of profanities can turn a manager and co-workers against a person. If the manner of speaking affects your relationships at work, you would better to get rid of bad language.
- Aggression issues
Cursing is often used to express aggression, so it is quite possible that the other person will be offended by it and decide to stand up for themselves possibly with their fists.
- Administrative fines
For example, in Russia, cursing in public places is treated as a petty crime and is punishable by a fine of up to 2,500 rubles (37 USD) or 15 days of arrest.
- Limitations to online conversations
Many gaming communities, groups on social network and forums prohibit cursing, so the use of swear words can result in a ban, making a person deprived of interesting information.
Getting rid of swearing and cursing
Swearing and cursing are habits.
First of all, we recommend that you think about which situations prompt the use of swearing and how often you struggle to express yourself without using such words. After that you can come up with replacements for profanities and constantly control yourself. Of course, it can be hard to diagnose the problem and get rid of cursing on your own, as it takes a lot of time.
Our registered 7Spsy behavior modification technique is a method of behavioral therapy that can help you quit cursing quickly.
This course will help you master a new and healthy mode of behavior. After 2-6 weeks of the 7Spsy behavior modification technique course you will get rid of this bad habit and start speaking without swearing. The classes are held remotely, you will not have to speak with a psychologist in person and lose confidentiality. However, our specialists will provide constant support throughout the duration of the course, answering your questions in online chats.
Choose the methods that suit you better and communicate freely, without letting profanities rule over you and your life.
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Information from this website cannot be used for self-therapy and self-diagnostics.
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